The Art of Self-Disclosure: Part 2
The Pearls and Perils of Self-Disclosure
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.*
To self-disclose is to reveal something private about yourself. Disclosing information can help individuals feel understood and accepted, but can also be hurtful if the person listening is critical, minimizes, or magnifies what is said or withdraws.
Individuals typically weigh the risks and benefits before sharing intimate details about themselves to others. What you choose to say will probably be based on how comfortable you are disclosing information, the person with whom you’re talking, and the immediate situation. Some people have nothing to share, although others may expect an outpouring of emotion or personal details. Tim Hayes said he didn’t avoid talking about his testicular cancer, but other than updates about doctor appointments or treatment, he didn’t have much to say. “I didn’t think it was very interesting when you got past the update. What else are you going to talk about?” He also didn’t talk about end-of-life issues. He believed he would survive.
The Risks of Self-Disclosure
Texas resident Michelle Rasmussen knows the risks of self-disclosure. Her father’s diagnosis of terminal liver cancer came out of nowhere during a difficult time in Michelle’s life. Frequent battles with her soon-to-be ex-husband over money and property had drained her energy and time. She became the primary caregiver for her father and her mother, who had recently suffered numerous health issues and needed considerable care. Her friends said she had written a country and western song because of the many problems in her life, but they also said she was tough and would get through this difficult period. However, they didn’t see Michelle crying alone at night, pushing aside meal after meal, wondering when she was going to snap. When she asked her sister for help, her sister told her she had her hands full taking care of her children. …