The Art of Self-Disclosure – Part 1
Revealing, Relating and Risk-taking to Improve Communication
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.*
Jeannette Patterson likes to talk. She’ll talk to the person standing in front of her at the checkout line just as easily as she would talk to her doctor. From corns to cancer to her granddaughter’s most recent accomplishments, Jeannette will share details about her life that other people would never disclose. Her husband Carl, for example, would never talk about these things publicly. You won’t find him talking about personal or emotional issues with family members either. If pushed, he’ll write a note. However, after his wife was diagnosed with colon cancer, Carl and his wife talked.
They talked about her medications and doctor’s visits. However, conversations about emotions were not so easy. She didn’t want to upset him, but he kept seeing her cry. He cried when she wasn’t looking.
Then, there were the accidents after part of her large intestine was removed in surgery. Without warning, she’d defecate on herself. Eventually, she got over the embarrassment of this happening in front of her husband. Carl reminded her to take care when eating and pack extra clothes and towels before going out. But for three years, her body repeatedly betrayed her in public, drawing people’s attention. She “rolled with the punches” and started talking.
“I needed to talk about it, to spread information and convince people to get colonoscopies in case this happened to them,” Jeannette said.
The Patterson family story illustrates the reality of talking about cancer. Some people want to talk about it. Others do not. Sometimes you can plan for conversations. Other times the conversation comes to you, ready or not. Talking about your thoughts and feelings with a partner or close friend is considered an important part of intimate relationships and can make you feel better. This article provides insights to help those who have been touched by cancer understand why some people share and others withdraw. It also offers guidance to help facilitate conversations about cancer. …